Dear King Lear,
I hereby confess my love towards thee. I have been reading thee for 3 days and have not finished thee yet. Thou might think that I am lazy and that my affection towards thee is feigned; I say, upon this page where everyone can see and thus no one shall lie, I LOVE THEE!! It took so much time because I went over what thou are saying over and over again!! I was first attracted to thee when I looked into thy structural composition for the AP Literature presentation. The five staged contents - Exposition/ Rising Action/ Climax/ Falling Action/ Conclusion - proved how well written and sophisticatedly contrived thou are; the subtle overlapping and smooth transition between each stage made it easy for me to read through thee and embrace thy messages. In addition, thou are prone to understand human emotions very well. Thou, without any pretense or affectation, vividly portray what characters feel, why they feel such sentiments, and how they react. I especially like thy being so humane and easily apprehensible; THAT IS SO CHARMING!!!
I hereby confess my resentment towards thee. Why are thou written in old language!! Though my deep love ultimately overcame the obstacle, thou are such a bad person who makes her lover to bury his head into an old English dictionary. Also, whay are thee so fat!! Thou are like 200 pages. Next time, though probably I will never meet anyone so attractive as thee, try to reduce some weight. Thou kill all thy servants who all gather to send thy messages. Lear is dead, Cordelia is dead, Regan is dead, Goneril is dead,... The decisiveness is also what leads me to like thee; yet, the very same cruelty sometimes frighten me. Make sure thou never scare me!!
I hereby confess my sorriness towards thee. I am deeply sorry for carelessly throwing thee into the school bag and making thy skin crumpled. I am also deeply sorry for carelessly throwing thee onto my bed and folding thy arms and legs as I slept over thy bent body. Though I can never repair and restore thee, I promise thee that I will try my best to keep thee in the finest condition and love thee way more than the magnitude of pain I have given thee.
I hereby expressed all what I wanted to tell thee. Though I end my letter to thee here, my deepest affection for thee never ends.
Behold! The satiric litany of a high school student reading thine Shakespeare. Thou art a true bard to embrace such a muse for thine Ode.
답글삭제This was pretty funny, and I know what you mean about the Old English written during that time. How dare they write like that. I feel the same way when I watch Korean tv shows. Why can't they just use English?? It IS the universal language after all. Koreans should just stop using Korean. EOP for the entire nation, I say!
I'm just kidding. Good Ode. I find it hard to believe that you actually like it though.;)